Wake up call, April 15, 2005
Reviewer: Amazonbombshell (Milwaukie, OR, USA)
DEAR JUDGE broke my heart many times. I have never been
through a divorce or on any side of a custody battle, but I have seen
the long- and short-term effects on friends at school (from elementary
up through college), children I work with, and on my own husband, who
went through a very messy divorce and custody battle between his
parents, beginning at age 12.
Reading these plainly presented letters to a family
court judge from children of all ages, I found myself beginning to
understand what it must be like to be so powerless and so scared. The
letters come from children in situations ranging from
not-quite-right-anymore to terrifying and abusive, but the reader gets
the sense that all of these children have been wronged in the same way:
their true selves have been ignored.
Adults forget what it is like to be a child, and we
also forget that children notice and absorb nearly EVERYTHING we say and
do. These letters prove how much kids really know, and how much they can
teach their parents and caretakers, the justice system, and society in
general. All parents should read this book, most particularly those who
have divorced a spouse with whom they had children. And older kids might
benefit from these letters, too. They might be helped by reading what
other kids have gone through, and knowing that they are not alone.
The book's format is very simple: two pages of
introduction telling why it was written, followed by over a hundred
letters to the judge. I thought initially that it might benefit from
some in-depth discussion and concrete suggestions for adults, but
perhaps that is best left to therapists and the deeper books they write.
These letters, unadorned, are incredibly powerful, and if you have ever
loved a child, they will touch your heart and change the way you think
about kids.
Touching, Sad, Distressing & Important,
April 14, 2005
Reviewer: Adam Sacks (Calabasas, CA United States) This book is touching
and sad but also very important to read. Parents doing through divorces
are hurting their children for the long term in so many ways. Listen to
their voices in this book, it's sad and touching. Divorce doesn't have
to be this bad.
Required reading for parents, judges,
attorneys, September 28, 2004
Reviewer: Harold McFarland (Florida) TOP 50 REVIEWER Filled with short
letters from children to the judge, "Dear Judge" will at times make you
laugh and at times make you believe in the family court system, but
mostly it will point out the ways the court system and parents fail to
take a child into consideration. When a young child has a question they
generally turn to their parents, but when the parents say they can't
take them somewhere, or see them more often, or otherwise satisfy the
needs of the child because the court system constrains them they have to
take other measures. These children took their pleas to the judge.
Encouraging, disheartening, and enlightening, "Dear Judge" should be
read by judges, parents, and attorneys alike.
From the minds and mouths of the innocent,
September 11, 2003
Reviewer: Jeanne S, Krause (Thousand Palms, CA United States)Charlotte
Hardwick has done a real service to families by sharing these delightful
letters from innocent children who find themselves caught up in custody
cases. If only parents could read them BEFORE going to court. I laughed;
I cried; and I learned from the viewpoint of the most innocent victims
in custody cases--the children. "Dear Judge" has earned a permanent
place in my personal library.
Ouch! I didn't know children saw so much.,
May 12, 2003
Reviewer: A reader
Great piece of work. I can see their faces and feel their hearts in
these letters. I wanted more and could not have handled more at the same
time. Buy this one and then try to keep your friends from walking off
with it.
Fear, anger, confusion, love, grief and
hope, January 12, 2003 (1st edition review)
Reviewer: Joanna Daneman (Middletown, DE USA) TOP 10 REVIEWER
This is a slim volume of actual letters written by
children to the judge in divorce/custody suits. It is a sad little
commentary in the real voices of those who are most hurt by marriage
break-ups. As a guide to parents facing separation, divorce, shared or
sole custody, or blended families, it is probably invaluable, as well as
being a very touching book to read. For anyone not in those situations,
whether judge, lawyer, caseworker or even just a member of society
watching families dissolve, this is a education about the feelings of
the most vulnerable members of our society--children.
My favorite letter (among so many good ones):
Dear Judge,
....Grandpa said that just because my parents are big that doesn't mean
they are grown up.
He promised as soon as they are grown up they will take care of me
again. Grandma said he is telling me the truth.
Your friend, TD
And there are more letters equally meaningful. You don't want to miss
this book if you are facing family problems.
Kids say the darndest things, September 21,
2004 (2nd edition Review)
Reviewer: Joanna Daneman (Middletown, DE USA)
TOP 10 REVIEWER Kids write to judges about custody
battles, divorce and other family matters. The letters are real,
compiled by Charlotte Hardwick. The author says the letters deal with
"fear, anger, confusion, love, grief and hope." One child writes
"My stepdad explained the Justis Sistem (sic) to me. It does not sound
right."
The letters are short and pithy, or longer and amazingly eloquent.
If any of these emotions are striking into the heart of
your family during a custody crisis or other family court matter, this
book is heartening reading. Pale Horse Publishing specializes in books
on family court matters.
I thought these letters were out there,
somewhere!, October 16, 2001
Reviewer:"katclarkson" (Mission Viejo, CA)
Sometimes it takes weeks and months to build enough
trust with a child to get this kind of honestly felt comment. I had a
notion these letters were out there. I have purchased Dear Judge in bulk
and am handing it out to parents the court has assigned to me for family
evaluation.
I will put my personal favorite here...
Dear Judge,
Please have the valuator come back out to our house. The day she came
was not a day like all the rest. The kitchen caught fire because my
brother was trying to make cheese grill sandwiches for us kids to eat so
mom could talk to the valuator. Tell Miss Hill the dog never peed on
anyone before and we will put him outside this time.
Yours truly, Bobby J.
This company deserves a 'Thank You' for taking
the time to present these letters in Dear Judge,. |