Brainwashing During Child Custody Wars

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Brainwashing is sometimes sometimes incorrectly called Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS.

All of us need to feel that we have the people we love and who depend on us on our side during any kind of conflict. During child custody battles some parents attempt to get the children to see all the things that are wrong with the other parent so the children will be aligned on their side.

This behavior clashes with the children's need to be kept out of the adult confrontation.

The disappearing parent is a subtle removal of the existence of a parent from the children's lives. This is accomplished by removing photos of the person, replacing activities done with the other parent with more appealing activities, even purchasing bigger and better versions of gifts given by the other parent.

Negative comments made by the brainwashing parent will eventually creep into the children's speech patterns. Phrases may include:

I don't know why your father never had the interest in helping you with your baseball when it means so much to you.

(2) I will help you enter that event. It will just be our little secret so your mother won't get mad at us.

(3) I know how much this means to you. You don't have to tell her I gave you the money.

(4) That side of the family will always look down on us, but together we can stop them from hurting us any more.

(5) It is nice there is some interest in your accomplishments now. Guess all the hard work we did doesn't count for anything.

When one or both parents use brainwashing the children experience a constant feeling of stress and conflict. Their sense of self-esteem is lowered and they doubt their perception of reality becoming mistrustful or misinterpreting the world around them.

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